It is disturbing enough that the majority of Christians still have their children in public schools.  But one does not have to look too far to find a lot of “former homeschoolers” in those public schools as well.  The apparently high attrition rate of homeschoolers is an issue that those of us who homeschool, or encourage others to, need to address. 

Desiring to protect our children from the corrupting public schools or wanting our offspring to get a solid education can be motivating factors for starting homeschooling, but a homeschool built on just these will begin to collapse when the going gets tough -- and it will get tough.

When the tremendous monetary sacrifice of one parent forsaking the working world kicks in, when the hefty spiritual challenge of disciplining and discipling children in the Lord become evident, when the mother feels the serious academic responsibility that largely rests on her shoulders, suddenly sending the children out of the home may appear justifiable.

“Some public schools might be teaching that stuff, but my child will have Ms. Christian as her first grade teacher, and I am going to be a classroom volunteer once a week,” says the wavering homeschooler.  Suddenly the kids “don’t learn as well from me as from a teacher” or “I’m falling behind!”  Or the father feels no compulsion to help, let alone lead the homeschool and he may desire the financial gain and lighter responsibiiites that happen when the wife and children leave for work and school.

From looking at what kept the veteran homeschoolers zealous about being home – often against all odds -- I believe homeschool longevity for the Christian largely comes down to a matter of theology. 

That is, Christians with a vision for their family, for fulfilling God’s purpose for them to be used for His glory, is what every Christian family needs to keep homeschooling. 

Now I will preface this with I know there are Christian families who cannot homeschool --- maybe the mother suffers from mental illness, alcoholism or another serious problem where they should not be with children.  There exits a huge shortage of affordable Christian schools that could be filled with the children from such families. 

But for the majority of Christian families who can create a safe, loving, healthy home where Christ is honored – they are well qualified to raise their children at home, and they need to get that exciting, big picture vision for their family to really go the distance. And this vision should be shared with the children, too.

Recently our family was standing in front of local Planned Parenthood. Not only is it part of their education to learn how to witness for Christ and save babies there, but we point out to them that this location is a “high place”in the land.  Like King Josiah, we are to take down the high places.  “But how, Mom?” they ask.  Through doing the best they can in math, science, writing, reading, etc. – maybe one day they can become a judge who helps to outlaw child killing, or a parent who passes on a life ethic to their children. 

If our only goal is to get our children to recite the Sinner’s Prayer, and just try to survive in a world that is supposed to get worse even in areas where there are many believers, I think we have too small a goal.

Years ago, when my husband and I ran a pro-family ministry on our secular college campus, we called all the Christian groups together for a prayer time.  We then asked them to work on getting Christians elected to school government and to help us get rid of the college-sponsored pornography and homosexual movie nights.  Besides the erroneous view many of them had that Christians should not get involved in politics, many acted like trying to make the campus less evil was somehow unspiritual. 

We challenged them that a place with Christians should be different than a place without them.  And that cleaning up the place, taking dominion in the name of Jesus, was a blessing to those who dwelt there.  To make a long story short, although the movies had been shown for 20 years, God used us to get them out in a matter of months.

My point is, what vision do you have for your family and how God could use all of you for His purpose — and does this motivate you to carry on during the storms?   

If they haven’t already, your kids are going to look at their math one day and ask you, “What is the point?’ You are going to wake up to a mountain of laundry and a day of children needing you and ask yourself, “What is the point?” 

What if you saw it as taking dominion over your household in the name of Jesus.  A household with Christians should look different than a household without.  Cleaning up the place, and teaching the children to do so, is a blessing to those who dwell there. Homeschooling the children in the Lord brings souls to Him and blesses others. And a husband who catches the vision rises up to take his rightful place as head of such a  home. 

Whether you are considering homeschooling, just staring homeschooling or if you have a call on your life to encourage others to homeschool, please take this to heart.  Homeschooling is the harder, but much better road if done the Lord’s way and with a solid vision for victory in Jesus.

Over the years, I have been so blessed to be able to pan out nuggets of golden wisdom from a variety of godly, veteran homeschool moms.  The many Christian homeschoolers who spoke at our ministry all homeschooled somewhat differently, as God makes each family unique, but I always gleaned something valuable for my family from every one. (Some talks from homeschool veterans, by the way, are available free at Exploring Homeschooling.) Their advice has saved me so much grief, money and time “reinventing the wheel.” 

Often those considering or starting homeschooling want to know what it is that will make their journey successful.  Naturally, thoughts of the best curriculum, home management techniques, field trip opportunities or other aspects of home education come to mind. 

But today I want to share with the most valuable advice I ever heard from wise homeschoolers about what should top the “list for success” in homeschooling.  By far, the most essential part of homeschooling, that crucial thing you need to have in great supply in order to hold it all together is “glue” -- the divine glue of really having a close, continual relationship with the Lord Jesus.  

I have heard several veteran homeschooler emphasize that if you are having trouble keeping your homeschooling together, check your prayer life.   It would always turn out, one seasoned homeschooler noted, that a struggling, “feeling hopeless” mom was spending little or no time before the Lord each day. 

I have had to learn the hard way, so I am passing on this life preserver of good advice, to save those who are jumping into the homeschool journey from drowning.   I can tell there is a dramatic difference in the days when I have been in prayer and in the Word and days when I just roll out of bed and try to start the day cold.  Often mothers of little children will moan, “but I have no time!”  I can tell you this –that if you make time for real heart to heart prayer with Christ, He will make your day blessed with a balm of sweetness so that you will want to always find a way to pray. 

I often looked at versus like 1 Thessalonians 5:17, “pray without ceasing” and I could not understand how a single person, let alone a married lady with children could muster anything close to that.  But, I think I finally have some understanding of that verse.  We had six children in eight years of marriage (whew!) and honestly I pray much more with six children than I ever did with one child.  Right now I have twin babies, two preschoolers and two other youngsters, so hear me out on this. 

What changed?  I see prayer as the cement that holds everything together; to be communicating with and listening to the Creator all day is the most important part of achieving a biblical household.  A homeschool veteran with many kids once advised us to rise while everyone was asleep for daily prayer and devotions – this is perhaps the only quiet time in our household.  Also we busy moms can  pray when we fold the laundry, when we cook, or when we hoover over that child with the not-so-great attitude who needs your advocating to the Father right there and then. 

I believe that real, heartbroken, crying out before God prayer – not the superficial, skipped over, just-for-looks kind -- is the glue that will help hold your homeschool, your family, your marriage, and you together.  What I mean is a “glue” that will attach your heart to Christ and His ways all day, a “glue” that will bond your children to you and your husband, and ultimately to Him. 
 
Being a person of prayer means you know how wretched you are, how you are totally dependent on God for everything.  Anyone can say they pray, but if someone really comes before the Savior, they are dramatically changed.  You cannot be the striving, stressed, selfish, complaining person you were before you stood before Him.  You cannot hold anything against anyone if you know He forgave you.  You realize how blessed you are to be able to serve Him by being a stay home mom and wife, that it is the best job in the world.  Also, you get a vision of great hope for the children you only saw as impossible before you lifted your hands and heart to Heaven.  In other words, meeting Jesus changes your perspective. Having a Holy Spirit led homeschool changes you and that influences everyone you are in contact with.

Make no mistake about it -- homeschooling is the harder road.  It will try every part of you.  But, it is the best road if you are loving, Christian parent who can create a safe place of joyous learning in your home.  But I propose that the “joyous” in that last sentence can only be obtained by getting the glue and pouring it all over your household --- the glue of deep, continual communication with Christ Jesus.

This week when one of our six children was sick in bed, the other kids asked if they could make him up a snack plate.  I watched as they happily cut fruit, piled on goldfish crackers and even drew some pictures for their ill sibling.  After a bit of arguing over who would get to deliver the plate to him, they not only brought him the plate and a drink, but they spoon fed him too.  (He didn't quite need that much assistance, but he did not object, either!)  Then they took turns reading stories to their brother. 

Watching our three year old "read" a picture book to her sick older brother, inventing the words as she went along, just made my husband and I feel so blessed. Of course, children are not born knowing how to minister to one another in such a way, but through parental encouragement they can learn to "...through love serve one another". - Galatians 5:13 

Now what preschool or what nanny would have the eternal motivation or the means to teach such a powerful life lesson?

I couldn't help but think of friends and relatives who send their children off to preschool or outsource their parenting to others when they don't have to.  What they are missing is not only bonding between parent and child, but sibling bonding.  When a person lovingly helps another who is in need, there is a gratefulness that cements a friendship.

I mean, will your child really be able to call up their old preschool friends when they are an adult and in trouble?  No, it is their family you hope they will be able to lean on in dark times.  So, if you are considering homeschooling, don't put your child in day care, preschool or with a nanny while you ponder whether you can handle homeschooling – if you are a loving, safe parent, then care for them yourself, and keep them with the sibling team God gave them. Sure, serving the children in this way and teaching them to serve is the more difficult path, but the more fruitful one.

I can remember back when I was in my early twenties, spending New Year’s Eve with other young Christians, ringing in the New Year with our apple juice toasts, singing with guitars strumming praise songs, and sharing our resolutions.  I remember playing a game where we would write down our predictions for the coming year about some topics someone would choose, questions about what might happen to us personally, and about the national and international scene.  (Like a good question for this year would be “Who do you think will be elected President in 2008?”)  Of course, most of my guessing was off.  After all, only God knows what will happen, as James 4:14-15 says:

Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. Instead, you ought to say, "If it is the Lord's will, we will live and do this or that."

Now that I am a married homeschooling mom with six little ones, I still make resolutions and wonder what will happen in the next year, yet I know that while I can chart a course for my ship, God can steer my boat wherever He deems. 

One of my big resolutions for this year is that, if it is the Lord’s will, I would be able to spend even more time with every child God has given us and to grow with each of them in a relationship deeper in love and respect.  

Even though as homeschoolers we are home with our children, we have to be careful that we are really home – I mean not distracted in thought or deed.  Are we looking each of our precious children in the eye when they come to us, really listening to what they have to say even if it seems to unimportant to us, really watching them to see what they need spiritually, emotionally, etc.?  Have we structured our lives the best we can, so that we can minister to them fully?

I have come to the place where I realize a parent can spend all day with their child and not really reach their child’s heart, which is the purpose of making the sacrifice of homeschooling if you are a Believer. More on that in later blogs.  Happy New Year. 

Today I want to address an often unmentioned angle of the “delegation phenomenon” – that is, the trend in this country where most mothers of young children are handing their tots over to others to tend most the day.  Real mothering costs a lot more than other current options, and Americans are downright cheap.  Why else do you think it is estimated like 80% of Christians have their children in free public school?

There are many pressures causing mothers to delegate even babies to others.  First, you have the fleshy desire of most parents for “trophy kids.”  Many want to have kids just because that is just something they feel entitled to in life, not because they have an eternal zeal for raising progeny. 

Next, wanting little Einsteins, they feel attracted to preschools that have been remarketed as competitive tot universities.

Then a strong undercurrent to delegating children comes from basic human nature of not wanting to put in a lot of hard work with no pay and little thanks.  Why give up a salary or doing something else during the day?  Modern mothers often feel changing diapers, for example, is a job for an underclass of women or someone with child education credits.  Little does she realize that a child bonds with those who lovingly take care of his basic needs.

If there is a father in such a family, he usually does not value his wife staying home with the children, does not spend enough time with the family himself or does not give his wife needed breaks. Many moms I talk with use the preschool or nanny as a way to get some breaks.
With the unpopularity of biblical discipline, even very young children start ruling over their parents. Exasperated mothers often choose preschool over spanking.  But while delegating an unruly child to an institution brings instant peace to the home, it covers up the problem which comes home to roost later on, like in the teen years.

But one facet of this delegation problem that few mention is that there are forces in this country that are making dumping young children into the laps of others very economical. 

I met a young mother the other day with a baby and a preschool aged child.  Finding out I was new to the area and that I had six children, she enthusiastically told me that I was in great luck because our state is a universal preschool state, and I could put all of them in the state financed preschool, even my 10 month old twins, for free!

“Why would I do that?” I asked her, explaining, “I want to BE with my kids.”  To which I just got this blank stare. 

Besides free preschool, there is also the tidal wave of cheap, black-market nannies available in many communities.  In this country, it used to be just the wealthy who were tempted to have their kids raised by what they used to call “nurses”.  Now I often meet lower middle class people who hire illegal immigrants to mind their children. 

Motherhood is exhausting, believe me, I know it.  We have six kids and do all our own housework, yard work, meals, etc.  But we have never let the fact that we were one of the poorest families stop us.  That the state or an undocumented worker will watch our children for free or cheap does not appeal at all to us. 

I know that the heart of the biblical homeschool movement in this country is made up of families like ours, who rely on garage sales and Ebay to cloth our kids and get most of our curriculum.  We differ from mainstream America in having the conviction that Deuteronomy 6 means we and not someone else should be the ones changing the diapers – and thus forging a bond with our children which can help lead them to Christ and be lights in a dark world. 

I feel like the last few months I have been like a spectator, watching a play in a theater, comfortable in my seat in the crowd, quite content being a behind-the-scenes mother to our six kids. I ceased publicly sharing my insights with you.  But, sometimes when we assume God wants us to be in one place, He causes circumstances, even trials, to prompt us in a different direction.  So like an audience member who is thrust up on stage unexpectedly, here I stand, blinking my eyes in the lights, clearing my throat, realizing the Lord is having me back addressing a national audience, albeit in a different format. 

So begins my part of our family’s blog.  I hope I can help you gain a deeper perspective on why you should be with your children, not just homeschooling, but really reaching your children’s hearts for Jesus Christ by being right alongside them. 

Well, some have been wondering... "What happened to the Lowers family?" 

So, here is our new blog where we hope to offer some insight and encouragement for Christian homeschool families - as well as keep friends and family up to date on our adventures as a homeschool family of eight.

We made it here to our undisclosed location, some 2,500 miles from the overcrowding and choking air of southern California.  We will be sharing some of our traveling adventures "Six Kids, Ten States, and One Minivan".  God blessed us with a safe journey.

I hope to share my experiences - as a dad - of homeschooling of our oldest child.

Kathy will, of course, give some of her insightful and heartfelt commentary on homeshooling, society, and culture as only she can with such sincere honesty.

The organization Considering Homeschooling is closed and confined to history.  We are content to concentrate on our own homeschool "movement" here at home.  We are very happy and encouraged that Mbuyi and Mong-Tham Khuzadi have started Exploring Homeschooling, which is taking off under their able and spirit-led leadership.  Exploring Homeschooling is a vital homeschool evangelism ministry that needs your prayer and support.

So our blog begins.

A mom in Considering Homeschooling, Dianne T., wanted to share some precious thoughts with us as to why she is doing Christian homeschooling:

I am a new homeschooler. I just finished kindergarten with my son and it was a tremendous experience. I feel so blessed to have the time to spend with him every day. I live directly next to an elementary school and cannot imagine being separated from him all day nearly every day.

I have also been blessed to be able to stay home with both my children from the day they were born. I count it a true miracle and privilege as I worked full time up until the birth of my first child. My son just turned 6 yesterday and he has a 2 year old sister who tries to keep up.

The primary reason I homeschool is to be able to have the privilege of being the one to lead them to Jesus. I want to take their little hands in mine and place them in the hands of the Great Shepherd who died for them. Our family homeschooling verses are from Deut 6:6-7:

"And these words which I command you today shall be in your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up."

I find such delight in the simple things. I find such joy in watching my son learn to read. I often am amazed at his discoveries and his enthusiasm for things I have long taken for granted.

I go to the health club with the children about once a week. I always leave them with a hug and a kiss. When I return about an hour later, they both greet me with joy. I always get a running hug, big smiles and "Hi Mommy, I missed you. I love you". One day as I was picking up my children, the childcare worker at the health club commented something to the effect of " Wow that's nice. You don't see that very often". I was amazed at her comment.

I know I make so many mistakes as a mother and as a homeschooler. But one thing I know. My children are loved and they know they are loved. So many children in this busy world we live in are not loved, or they do not know they are loved. I think when we make the commitment to take the more difficult road of homeschooling, our children are more likely to know that they are loved.

"For this is the message that you heard from the beginning, that we should love one another." - 1 John 3:11

Thank you to all who prayed for us as we spoke this past weekend in San Diego. On the drive there, I felt the morning sickness lessen, and I knew it was due to you lifting us up to the Lord. We thank God for a fruitful weekend -- many families signed up for the newly starting Considering Homeschooling of San Diego. Susan Bram, a caring veteran homeschooler, is the perfect one to run that group, and she will be having meetings soon. We are very grateful for Christian Family Schools of San Diego, the big private biblical homeschooling group down there, for giving CH the best booth in their vendor hall and really supporting the idea that homeschooling -- raising a child in the Lord Jesus -- begins at birth.

On Memorial Day, we will be at the Home School Fair in Ontario. If you are in the Riverside area, come on by and help us man that table, if you can.

Please keep Considering Homeschooling of Orange County in your prayers, as well as homeschool outreaches stating in Southern California and throughout the nation. Most Christian families are eager to hear about homeschooling, but lack what they feel is a safe place to explore that option, and to meet like-minded friends. So many just put their child in preschool or public school, feeling they have no choice. If only there had been a place for them to get accurate information on homeschooling, and to get a running start while their kids were yet young!

If a Christian can create a safe, wholesome, Christ-centered home where a child can learn and thrive, that family should seriously consider homeschooling. Most sincere Christians can fit that bill. Every one of us with little kids knows someone else with young ones, too. Why not reach out to that friend or friends, inviting them to the CHEA Convention, to a Considering Homeschooling meeting or to a Christian homeschool support group meeting? Biblical homeschooling is not a 100% guarantee that a child will receive and follow the Lord. We are sinners, our kids are sinners and the world can be enticing. But, raising a child in the joy and knowledge of the Lord Jesus at home gives them a real good shot.

"Mom, I clean these better than you, don't you think?" my seven year exclaimed the other day as he displayed several pots he had scrubbed out and rinsed. Thanks to my husband's insistence on their chore training, my son, as well my five, three and one and half year old daughters do a big part of the cleaning up after each meal. Seeing him hold up a clean pot brought back a distant memory.

When I was a teenager, I worked two summers on organic farms in New England. One farm in Vermont had a big old 1800's farmhouse where those of us working the land would live. The farm hands were a fluid menagerie of mostly neo hippies and college students, with some staying a few weeks and others working from planting through harvest. Besides the arduous farm work, we all had to pitch in with the housework.

One day a fellow in his 20's joined us. When it was his turn for dish duty, he took me aside and sheepishly asked if I would teach him how to wash each kind of dish, pot, cup, etc. I said I would, but wondered why he needed me to teach him something so simple. "I’ve never washed dishes before," he admitted, "My parents always had housekeepers who did that."

Now I am not going to pick on anyone who hires a house cleaner. But many of my generation of parents tend to view homeschooling as "school at home" so housework is seen as a useless burden. Often those who can, hire someone. Most of us cannot afford hired help, but instead may be tempted to drop one or more of the kids off at preschool. Or, a mom may go around feeling picked on, always cleaning up after kids who have no knowledge that they should be helping mom in a big way. I used to view housework as this mountain I had to blast through each day before I could get to the learning (and with four little ones and two more in utero, housework in our place is no small hill to climb) – until I was convicted by some veteran homeschoolers on this issue.

Now I see the ability to clean up a home as a valuable life skill, the training for which can be interwoven within the day. I don’t use my kids as slave labor nor would my home win any Good Housekeeping awards anytime soon. But, there is triumph in seeing these little kids make their beds by themselves, handle a vacuum bigger than they are, fold laundry, clean up a kitchen or bathroom – and do it with zeal, knowing they are an important part of the running of the household.

If you are in Southern California: If you need some practical advice and to know there is a Godly purpose to housework, please attend our next Considering Homeschooling Homeschool Information Night: "Keeping House, Homeschooling, and Keeping Your Sanity" presented by Susan Beatty of CHEA on August 26 at 5pm in Irvine. Please see www.ochome.org for details.